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And so Nekhludoff did not succeed in getting an interview thatday, and returned home. As he went along the streets, excited atthe idea of meeting her, he no longer thought about the LawCourts, but recalled his conversations with the Procureur and theinspector's assistant. The fact that he had been seeking aninterview with her, and had told the Procureur, and had been intwo prisons, so excited him that it was long before he could calmdown. When he got home he at once fetched out his diary, that hadlong remained untouched, read a few sentences out of it, and thenwrote as follows: human hair wigs za

"For two years I have not written anything in my diary, andthought I never should return to this childishness. Yet it is notchildishness, but converse with my own self, with this realdivine self which lives in every man. All this time that I sleptthere was no one for me to converse with. I was awakened by anextraordinary event on the 28th of April, in the Law Court, whenI was on the jury. I saw her in the prisoners' dock, the Katushabetrayed by me, in a prisoner's cloak, condemned to penalservitude through a strange mistake, and my own fault. I havejust been to the Procureur's and to the prison, but I was notadmitted. I have resolved to do all I can to see her, to confessto her, and to atone for my sin, even by a marriage. God help me.My soul is at peace and I am full of joy."

CHAPTER XXXVII.

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MASLOVA RECALLS THE PAST.

That night Maslova lay awake a long time with her eyes openlooking at the door, in front of which the deacon's daughter keptpassing. She was thinking that nothing would induce her to go tothe island of Sakhalin and marry a convict, but would arrangematters somehow with one of the prison officials, the secretary,a warder, or even a warder's assistant. "Aren't they all giventhat way? Only I must not get thin, or else I am lost." zara full lace human hair wigs

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She thought of how the advocate had looked at her, and also thepresident, and of the men she met, and those who came in onpurpose at the court. She recollected how her companion, Bertha,who came to see her in prison, had told her about the studentwhom she had "loved" while she was with Kitaeva, and who hadinquired about her, and pitied her very much. She recalled manyto mind, only not Nekhludoff. She never brought back to mind thedays of her childhood and youth, and her love to Nekhludoff.That would have been too painful. These memories lay untouchedsomewhere deep in her soul; she had forgotten him, and neverrecalled and never even dreamt of him. To-day, in the court, shedid not recognise him, not only because when she last saw him hewas in uniform, without a beard, and had only a small moustacheand thick, curly, though short hair, and now was bald andbearded, but because she never thought about him. She had buriedhis memory on that terrible dark night when he, returning fromthe army, had passed by on the railway without stopping to callon his aunts. Katusha then knew her condition. Up to that nightshe did not consider the child that lay beneath her heart aburden. But on that night everything changed, and the childbecame nothing but a weight.

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His aunts had expected Nekhludoff, had asked him to come and seethem in passing, but he had telegraphed that he could not come,as he had to be in Petersburg at an appointed time. When Katushaheard this she made up her mind to go to the station and see him.The train was to pass by at two o'clock in the night. Katushahaving helped the old ladies to bed, and persuaded a little girl,the cook's daughter, Mashka, to come with her, put on a pair ofold boots, threw a shawl over her head, gathered up her dress,and ran to the station.

It was a warm, rainy, and windy autumn night. The rain now pelteddown in warm, heavy drops, now stopped again. It was too dark tosee the path across the field, and in the wood it was pitchblack, so that although Katusha knew the way well, she got offthe path, and got to the little station where the train stoppedfor three minutes, not before, as she had hoped, but after thesecond bell had been rung. Hurrying up the platform, Katusha sawhim at once at the windows of a first-class carriage. Twoofficers sat opposite each other on the velvet-covered seats,playing cards. This carriage was very brightly lit up; on thelittle table between the seats stood two thick, dripping candles.He sat in his closefitting breeches on the arm of the seat,leaning against the back, and laughed. As soon as she recognisedhim she knocked at the carriage window with her benumbed hand,but at that moment the last bell rang, and the train first gave abackward jerk, and then gradually the carriages began to moveforward. One of the players rose with the cards in his hand, andlooked out. She knocked again, and pressed her face to thewindow, but the carriage moved on, and she went alongside lookingin. The officer tried to lower the window, but could not.Nekhludoff pushed him aside and began lowering it himself. Thetrain went faster, so that she had to walk quickly. The trainwent on still faster and the window opened. The guard pushed heraside, and jumped in. Katusha ran on, along the wet boards of theplatform, and when she came to the end she could hardly stopherself from falling as she ran down the steps of the platform.She was running by the side of the railway, though thefirst-class carriage had long passed her, and the second-classcarriages were gliding by faster, and at last the third-classcarriages still faster. But she ran on, and when the lastcarriage with the lamps at the back had gone by, she had alreadyreached the tank which fed the engines, and was unsheltered fromthe wind, which was blowing her shawl about and making her skirtcling round her legs. The shawl flew off her head, but still sheran on.

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